I am tired and I am not going to die

Last updated on 4 août 2023

« I am tired and I am not going to die » est le premier poème, et la première vidéo de 2022. L’inspiration provient de la phrase : “I am a poet and I am not going to die” (Je suis un poète et je ne vais pas mourir) ; il s’agit de la première phrase d’une vidéo sur Emily Dickinson: “Emily Dickinson ’I am a poet’” by ItsATwinThing – Emily Dickinson • « I am a poet. » – YouTube. Outre la beauté des mots, de l’espoir et de la résilience qu’ils portent, le ton de l’actrice dans la vidéo en prononçant cette phrase était particulièrement poignante.

Découvrir : Mon coeur en fin d’été

I am tired, and I am not going to die

There is much left to live. On days when going out of bed is a struggle, it is daunting. It feels like a threat. I draw the universe with my eyes on the ceiling of my room, and I wonder: “how am I supposed to fill the years, when I already feel so bored and hollow?”

I am tired, and I am not going to die yet.

Each intake of breath is a new start. There are museums to visit. There are landscapes to paint, pastries to bake. Smiles to exchange with strangers. Modern cities, and antique ruins to explore. Thousands of poems left to write.

I woke up tired this morning, but I am not going to die.

I will buy myself a vase of ceramic of blue and white, and another vase made of tinted glass. And every other week I will go buy myself fresh flowers, and with the dried petals of the previous ones I will make jars of rose water. There is much left to dream. There is much more left to live. I am tired, yes. And I am not going to die.

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